you've got me listening to zwan, that's never a good sign.

i wish for the life of me that i could figure you out.

wait, they don't love you like i love you

a lot has happened since my last update almost three weeks ago. it's weird how your life can change in a split second; one moment you have your course mapped out, you're happy, and the next moment you have no idea what happened, what you're going to do, how to even put one foot in front of the other. last weekend i found out the melanoma my dad had - that had supposedly been removed through surgery on his shoulder - had actually spread before the surgery, leaving him with cancer in his liver. i was so hopeful that it would be gone, and i honestly thought it would be okay, and now i realize that a lot of it was my parents trying not to make me and my brother worry. i don't really want to talk about it a lot but these things happen and you just have to try to deal with it. i've processed it over the past week and i've been talking to my dad through e-mail and skype a lot and trying to support my mom as much as possible since she she's stressed out and worried. my parents seem to be okay though, regardless of how surreal this whole thing is. they're all coming for christmas next week, well my mom comes on friday and then dave, my dad, and tory are coming next tuesday from shanghai and staying til the following saturday. as i said my dad seems to be in good spirits and he's been visiting our pastor back at home, so i'm drawing comfort from his positivity.

because of all of this, i'm going to be moving back home to canada when the semester ends in about a month. i'm sad about leaving china because the eight months i've spent so far have been some of the best in my life - i love my job, i love my apartment, i love my friends, i love my daily life here. i love my dad more than any of these things though, and i want to spend as much time with him as possible and be there to support my parents and my brother. i've re-evaluated what i need to do, job prospects in advertising/design when i'm back home, and started looking at apartments in my parent's town/the surrounding area. i guess this is a new chapter, a hard one, but i'm looking at it as a challenge and a chance to grow, a chance to be closer to the people i love the most both in physical distance and an emotional sense. things happen for a reason, i've always believed that, and i believe god has our lives planned out for us from the moment we're created, he knows every step of our path even if we don't. i have to believe that and have faith that he can take care of my dad and the rest of my family, no matter what the circumstances or to what ends.

my life over the past month has otherwise been full and i'm appreciating each moment i have left here. theresa and i hosted a big christmas party for all our friends a couple weeks back, and this past weekend the school had their big annual christmas program, in which the foreign teachers sang and danced to rudolph the red-nosed reindeers to thunderous applause. i'm looking forward to christmas and seeing my family, and in a way i'm also looking forward to new year's, because i know 2008 is going to be a tough but important year.