i cleaned out my closet today (no, really, that isn't a song lyric)

my dad has been in the hospital for exactly a week now due to pain from the cancer that is now in his spine, some area of soft tissue, and a few other bones that unfortunately i can't recall the names of. he did a bunch of radiation treatments and is on painkillers, so he's slowly starting to walk again with a walker and a cane. i can't begin to tell you how much of an emotional rollercoaster the past two weeks have been. at the same time my family has drawn so much closer together to support each other. my brother and i talk much more, my mom and i have this amazing candidness between us now, and my dad and i spend a ton of time together. it's so wonderful to have this love shared between all of us, this honesty and this appreciation of one another, even in the midst of something so devestating and hard to deal with. each day is scary and challenging and we cry a lot but we also just get on with it and bite the bullet. i'm still working 9 to 5, still doing what i always did. i guess we need some sense of normalcy when something so close to us stops making sense. i feel in some ways that i've skipped about 10 years of my life, i have no desire to go out and party or drink or do whatever other 22 year olds are doing because i'm slowly losing my dad to cancer and its putting everything into perspective.