unfinished drabble

we leave our fingerprints on the window
looking out at the patio
it's cold and tired
barebone trees with white skin
gnarling against the wind
we're older now but i still remember-
fishing for perch in orillia
i played with the minnows in a bucket
and got mad anytime you hooked one for bait
i remember when we camped and got rained out at 4am
and you took me to tim hortons and i drank coffee with you in the parking lot
and it was the best camping trip i ever had
i remember when we fought and i told you that i hated you
and you didn't understand me
you didn't understand what i was going through
but it was only because you were scared
and now i know why you felt that way
i remember long summers in the backyard
hot asphalt and drinking wine on the porch
i remember when we ran through hangzhou with our shoes full of water
just trying to find a way home in the rain
and it was good because it was with you
i remember the concert when we sat in the choir loft
listening to bob dylan covers on the ride home
the first time we went to the theatre in toronto
i wore a blouse with lace sleeves and you took me for mussels
i value these seconds
when you laugh at a joke
when we watch seinfeld together at night
when we drive somewhere and i pretend to hate sergio mendez and the eagles
when you're awake at 4am and i come in and you don't tell me off for drinking too much
but sometimes i get so angry
angry at the doctors
angry at god for letting it happen
angry at you for not talking about it
angry at myself for pretending it doesn't exist-
but it does, and so do you
and so i have these moments that i hold onto
memories and most of all the present
and each breath i am thankful for
and each second i appreciate more than words
and all of this to say that i love you
and no matter what you're strong,
you're my hero,
you're the one who hooks the minnows
and takes the tent down in the rain while i wait in the warm car
watching for the sunrise